An ending, and a start

A little heart breaking, but hey, I did say I'll take any consequences. It has been a tough day, but telling you the story will only make me sad. Whining doesn't help right? I'm going to fight hard for the upcoming battle. I will make it mom, I will.

Problem is solved (?)

 (a steward, they told me)

Sup?! It's quite early in the morning, i was waiting for the school announcement about the result of final examination, but it is postponed due to an unknown cause. So i have to go to school today. Wish me luck.

But putting aside the result of examination, i want to talk about something.

I've been trying to let go someone, move on, people nowadays say. Well I'm no master at this kind of thing, but i didn't expect that i would be this hard. I've been trying to avoid contact. I've been replying with normal answers, only talk about something important that i really need to talk to, even put away my face so we wouldn't catch each other eyes. Yeah i know I'm pathetic.  

To do such things, i need to kill my emotion. Before, i could always let myself taken by the flow. Now, i forced myself not to follow my heart again. I wanted to talk, i really do. But i know it will end in a not so pleasing way.

It effected on my whole life. Usually, being happy makes me able to do many things, seeing it gives motivation to do great things in life. Because of the limitation, I've become a lazy person, which someone that I don't want to be.

I thought it would make me happy. But it wasn't much different from before, hell, it got worse.

Today we had the longest conversation ever (as far as i could remember) or the most purest interaction we've done. But the thing that really made me feel okay again was the smile. It was something that i always look for, smiling to each other, it was the best thing in life so far. It was like i didn't have anything to worry about.

Looking at the facts that I've just experienced, sometime to let it go, you have to let it come. I mean, when a problem comes to you, your choice will be to avoid it, or to solve it. If you choose to avoid it, it will haunt you forever, but if you choose to solve it, it well end, but it takes a hard process (depending on the person though).

Its actually already one of basic laws of the universe, maybe it's just me stupid enough to realize.

So now, i will try to follow the current again, with some crossing line of course, and see where this will take me. At least I'm happy (or so i think). 

I wish you guys have a happy way to end the term. It's our year. Have a great life everyone.

In the very doorstep of a new world

 (me between mommy and daddy of the class)

Oh, hello there! Spending your holiday already ? Well for most senior years (in high school) students in Indonesia today are having a break after the national examination. After approximately ten months of struggle, we finally have a time to lay down a bit, and wait for the result. I wish that everyone will get a satisfying result, and got in to their dream college. Amin.

How times flew so quickly! I still remember the moment when i parted with my friends at KL and the day i registered as a transfer student at SMAN 86. Two years had been enough for me to experience so many wonderful and beautiful things in a very short time. I will miss the days i study at this school. That noisy sound when a train passes our school (FYI, the railway is only 10m in front of our school!), the cramped canteen, the teases, jokes and games in classes, the friendly people, the teachers, every little things there will be a sweet memory to remember.

Anyway, as i've said on my previous post, i just turned seventeen, the exact seventeen days ago.

The celebration was (without any planned intention) divided into four part. The first part was the day before my birthday, which was April 3rd. After our usual morning activities, the whole class burst into a happy birthday song and sang again when the school ends. I didn't know who started it but that was sweet (and pretty embarrassing as well).

Second, of course, the day of my birthday, April 4th. People wished me their prayers, great life, success, finance, girlfriend, etc. And i really thank to all of you who wished for me, sorry i couldn't answer one by one but i read each of it. Really, thank you for those kind words.

Well as you know the tradition to 'bake' a person on his/her birthday, it happened to me too. So i went home with my table mate. On my way home, i saw my friends were hanging around on my aunt house (which was a couple house away). I knew that they were planning to do something. I thought it was the usual, "Hey come out!" and then BOOM!, you got eggs! But no, as one of them called me, then suddenly out of nowhere, someone covered my head with a plastic bag, lock my hand and drag me away like a kidnapper. Then, i was tied to a pole, and when the plastic bag was taken, i'm vulnerable as a turned cockroach.

 

After i've been hit with a couple of eggs, flour and soy, i realized that the tie was not that strong. And i was able to move! And you must know what happen next, i ran through the neighborhood, chasing my friends as i covered with....dough (?). In the end, 13 out of 15 was hit (mission accomplished) and we were all very happy, especially me *smirk*. 

Well to cut short, April 5th was the cake day, and April 7th was kind of the private party.

 

 Oh and i got a pretty cool birthday card from them !

 

 

Once again, i really thank all of you, who had been a great teacher and companions for me for the past 17 years, my parents, my sister, my family, my friends, strangers, inspiring people, everyone! I hope Allah repay your all kindness and support you've given to me. 

I will work hard so that i can be a help to the society, in achieving my dreams, and of course, to be a better dog for everyone! Woof!